About.........

3rd person

2011-05-05T21:40:00.002+08:00

after 4 years, a new one appear in my life. these 4 years, i told myself that don't do silly thing. it will just waste my time, just see ur friends, get hurt easily and this may influence my studies. but, when this kind of thing come, u urself also can't control it.

if i'm not mistaken, i saw him during state comp, by that time, he slightly attracted my attention. SLIGHTLY. he sat near me during closing ceremony, i could see him easily. or peep? did he see me peeping? MY GOD!

here comes... i really didn't notice that he had aboard the bus. maybe i was studying that time. i really got surprised when i saw him during our breakfast. that time, i started to notice him. he hung a sling bag. for boys, he consider short, BUT STILL TALLER THAN ME!!!! he doesn't has thick eyebrown which i always hope that my future boyfriend do has. YET, HE ATTRACTED ME!

every moment we were in the same place, i will automatically notice him, i just couldn't control myself. hope that it would not too obvious. during the malam suai kenal, we were that near. but, no chance to be closer, i was embarrassed.

the 3rd day night, we were even closer. i was not purposely. we went to toilet together. he saw me tidying my hair. as a gentleman, let me use the sink 1st. but was actually he dislike AMC girls only let me or he really that gentleman? i hoped that he was really a gentleman. i was 'pai seh' being not using the sink but standing there tidying my hair. finally, i spoke to him!!! just i spoke, he didn't reply. i excused myself, let him use. i stood beside him, drying my hands. we were really that in a stone throw distance. perhaps, shorter than that.

last day, once again, i got the chance to stand beside him for JUST 3 MINUTES. but is was enough. final moment, boys had to get down to the bus, i said bye to him, of course EVERYONE! he smiled and replied.

by now, his smile, his sleeping look, his eating look, not smiling yet no cool etc. are still inside my mind, i just can't control but recalling again and again. i used my effort to search for him- FB, his name, ser name, chinese name, his age, his favourite etc... and RELATIONSHIP STATUS! he is still single...

what am i suppose to do? i have fallen in love to him!!! but this year is my SPM year, i have to focus on my studies... he is the 3rd guy causing me has this feeling again. if i'm not wrong, he is even better than the previous 2! i'm just saying IF and i hope so.

她们跟她们

2011-03-23T15:55:00.003+08:00

不知道为什么，就是很突然，要post 这想法。。。

我时常都在想，st.john对我来说，有没有什么归属感呢？今天是SPM放榜的日子，看到senoirs们全都穿着camp t来拿成绩，我就在想，明年的我会不会和她们一起这样穿呢？我不知道。。。拿了成绩后，我会不不会和她们一起出去逛街呢？我也不知道。。。

以前的我曾经认为她们是我最好的朋友，但自从那间事发生后，我否定了。因为她们，我哭了至少有3次，不是只是流眼泪而已。而是几乎每一次都是哽咽的。就是那一次的心痛令我觉悟，对待朋友（应该是好朋友才对）是这样的。我答应过自己，我不会再为了她们而哭。
因为她们，令我觉得根本没有 ‘友谊永固’ 这4个字. 虽然后来是 T 给了我这4个字的信心，但是另两个人证明了这4个字的存在。

4年的友情也不比1年的友情深，当然，另一个已是第五年的友情，（不准啦）。。。哈哈。虽然跟他们也曾经发生过不开心的事情，两次哦。。。但是这些事情令我更珍惜她们。不知怎么的，跟她们虽然时常吵吵闹闹的，跟她们在一起，有时候真的还开心过跟她们。可能是我跟她们俩的性格比较像吧。还是我们长时间都在一起？

现在的我，可能还是跟他们‘是一gang'，但我却没有她们的那种归属感。总是觉得跟她们的性格很不像，而且总是觉得她们真的没有另两个那么了解我。她们曾经给我的刀，虽然拔掉了，表面上虽然痊愈了，但实际上，我心里面还有一道很深很深的疤痕。和她们依然是好朋友，但如果跟另外她们来比较，她们俩不就是我的超级死党？！哈哈。。。

CNY 2011 bunny year...

2011-02-05T23:54:00.005+08:00

well, holidays for chinese new year is almost gone. soon, i have to back to school again. what had happened in this few days?

the day before cny:

had a reunion dinner with my family. this year, we added 1 more person- my sister in law, ling. quite happy that moment. i drunk wine. well, the wine tasted nice, got fruit flavour. i drunk all that left in the bottle. guess what happen then? i felt very sleepy while eating. my face turned flushed. my 2 brothers and sis ling bullied me, they said i had drunk. was i really get drunk? i dunno. maybe is just sleepy...

that night, a person said i'm stupid and silly. well, sometime, i really felt that i'm really silly. MOST SILLY IN THE WORLD by J is really quite suit me. but i just can't stop myself to think of something bukan bukan. and when i rethink back, i really feel that... I'M SILLY. her message is still in my phone, i haven't deleted it yet. every night before i sleep, i will automatically think back what she 'scolded' me. and i'm really touch when reading her message till NOW. i nearly cried out when read that message for the 1st time. it really touched me lot. i had never think that that message will be appeared. thank god for letting me to meet this BEST FRIEND. how about the another? well, i knew that she surely will asked me the incident. she cares me much. 4 years best friend, and this is the 5th year... how god loves me for giving me these 2 good buddies.

a new hope from me: nothing will change our friendship!!! can it be true? after 6 months, i REbelieve about it again.

1st day of cny:

hey, is my birthday!!! my chinese birthday!!! well, i got a lot of DOUBLE ang paw this year. my parents, dad's sis, mum's sisters... an addition starting from this year, my bro ryan's. what made me felt really 'pai seh' while receiving the ang paw is, PL's aunt and my BRO CHARLES GAVE ME ANGPAW. especially from him. he is not married yet and i know that he is poor. but he still gave me a birthday ang paw this year, the only this year. well, i'm pai seh and touch. the amount is not small also. really very very pai seh. THX SO MUCH BRO... i know u love me very much and me too!!!!

2nd day of cny:

this year no more going to kampar. we just stay in ipoh, watching tv. i think is maybe because of last year we can't have any visiting due to grandpa's death and causes us felt lazy to go this year. this was the 1st time i met someone forgot to give ang paw until we step out from his gate only he remembered. fine, we eaten a lot of cakes, including tiramisu!!! 1st time i ate leh... wakaka... long time didn't see bro chong... so happy to see him back from singapore. my eldest cousin from dad's side. so sorry that can't make it for his wedding due to competition... so sad!!!!

3rd day of cny:

didn't go to anywhere for visiting. just have a trip to gunung lang and went to have a lunch at bagan semak. don't being cheat by the 'cover' of gunung lang. it's really memalukan!!! there were male's 'urinary toilet' in female's toilet!!!! CAN U IMAGINE???omg!!! but dad did a very hilarious thing. the man on the boat asked him to wear on the jacket. but he put under his buttocks. the funniest part reached: the man said: itu jacket adalah untuk pakai, bukannya untuk letak di bawah punggung!!! dad is embarrassed... how about the lunch?? well, i swear that i will never go there anymore... i ate with FLIES!!! ish!!! disgusting and irritating!!!

fair

2011-02-02T17:10:00.001+08:00

just know that act my bro also don't have new clothes.... hahaha....

BRO, NO NEW CLOTHES WON'T DIE!!! WE WEAR OLDS TOGETHER!!!! HAPPY FAMILY!!!

Disappointment - Relieve

2011-02-02T14:09:00.008+08:00

on wednesday, i dated 2 of my best friends out to parade as i haven't buy clothes. i dunno they really know that i have no time to go out as everyday i also have training till noon. how i wish that they really know. but, they didn't promise me yet. nvm. on friday, i asked again whether they free or not. J say dunno, ask me to text her on sun. Y say other ppl JUST NOW ask her to go jusco.

on sunday, i texted J, she only tell me that other ppl dated her and she will go with them. i'm quite not happy at that time, but i still fine. night, i texted Y, she didn't reply me. so i know that she won't go also. ok, these are all fine.
but that night, i saw J uploaded photos she went out that day (monday). rupa rupanya, she went out with Y and other friends. they all go sing k. from their photos, they are really damp happy. how i hope i can go out also, i'm very emotional conflict that day. train till mad, the man ordered and said something i really not syok. quarrel with T... how i hope they can cheer me up. well, they are the 1 who made me more sad.

what i'm angry and disappoint is, i date them 1st and they know that if today i don't go, i just have to wear old clothes during cny... but they prefer to go with their friends that date them later than me. yday i like jk gam scold J, and she just say ask me to find other ppl and say sorry. SORRY IS NOT BIGGER THAN LORRY.

i really very disappointed. i hate people not keeping their promises. J kept on asking me what happen. she even sms me and ask is it she made me angry. i dunno how to reply her. or i say: yes, both of u really hurt me like that??? or say nothing la... i can't lie on myself...she see i ignore her, she yao post on her wall... that moment i really have no feeling on her post. everything recall back my sad memories... huh... but, i become tougher, no tears rolling down, just appear in my eyes. should i be proud of this?

act, the main purpose is i wanna to have a hang out with them before cny as i think i will have no more chances to hang out with them since i will have NO MORE HOLIDAY due to competition. i never hang out with BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER.

but i know that, act i'm wrong. N is right. i shouldn't ask them to accompany me to buy clothes. my way is really not right. i should tell them that i want to hang out. they have not promise me anything, they still have the rights to choose to go with those who dated them later than me.

honestly speaking, i feel nothing now. but, i really dunno how to tell them the truth. if 1 day they know this, i hope that nothing will be change because of this.

一个人

2010-11-13T19:14:00.002+08:00

那么多个月了，我还是回来了。刚刚才发现，我此总还是一个人。

6月发生的事情，我到现在还是历历在目，别人可能认为我太执着，那是因为我真的很在乎。为什么酱多年的友情可以因为一些不满而反目呢？为什么要在我面前伪装呢？不满的，为什么不能说出口呢？好朋友不是应该以真心对待吗？6月之前，我还以为我们真的可以做一辈子的好朋友，可是现在，‘友谊永固’这4个字对我来说，真的很陌生。我的真心对待，换来了什么？或许现在的我们看起来还是很好，但实际上，我已经对你们失去信心了。近来，你们对我的关心的确感动了我，让我真的感觉到你们任然是关心我的，但每当我一想起那件事时，心里面那条刺还是埋藏在我心里。我有尝试把它拔掉，可是真的怎样拔也拔不下。。。过了这么久了，看见你们在一边开心地玩笑，不知为什么，我已没有感觉了，也许说我已经心淡了。好事还是坏事？连我自己都不知道，有好有坏吧。。。

现在的我，有两个很要好的好朋友，什么东西都可以成为我们的话题，但是在我心里还是觉得很不安。也许是曾经被伤害过，所以现在我根本无法对这段友谊有过于的信心。可能是我想太多，可是我就是无法控制自己。我，是不是很傻呢？都已经把心里的大秘密告诉你们了，我还是那么的没有信心。我很高兴当你们无聊时会自动找我聊天，所以无论我再忙，我也不会不理你们。但每当你们不恢复我的短讯时，老实说，我真的会很不安，我不知道你们会不会不理睬我，抛下我。。。对不起。。。
再过不久就放假了，我们就很少机会可以见面了，谈天的机会也一定少很多很多了。当我们见面时，又可以好像现在这样吗？我很怕，打从心里怕起来。

无助的我，有谁在我旁边呢？我还是一个人。。。

Crazy Friend

2010-03-25T22:06:00.004+08:00

recently quite crazy... bcoz of.... u!!!! TSK.... SK mei... u make me vy crazy la.....
i rmb wat u say... 两个'废‘的人在一起’废‘时，就可以’废‘上天。。。。
lol.... ur phrase reali laugh die me la....
i agree wif u.... it's reali vy vy vy difficult 2 find sb tat is so same characteristic wif u....
so i vy hapi i noe u.. hahaha.....coz i reali cnt 5 sb tat is so '废', crazy n cn laugh out loud lk me... ur laughter cn fight wif me u noe?? hahaha..... reali crazy.....
do share all ur '废' thgs 2 me pls!!! hahaha......

i rmb our theme song: lady gag-bad romance.....
a vy good memories 4 me....

sports day

2010-03-14T19:18:00.003+08:00

sports day finally pass....
i representing red house for the march pass... i'm the commander.... and guess what result we get? 2nd!!!! wow!!!! at 1st, i really fed up with them... as jl said tat red house' marching skill is the worse among the 5 houses... i asked myself am i making the right decision to give up st.john march pass and go to march for red house.... but i can say that, i'm not regret already!!!!
this few weeks, they really put lot of effort in it... i can see their improvement... although they are playful and some are not so cooperate ( sometimes), but they will listen to me also... haha...
if i really did not march for it, i won't be so close to them and have so many friends already.... our friendship build everyday....

RED HOUSE!!!! ADD OIL NEXT YEAR!!!

14/3

2010-03-14T17:41:00.003+08:00

the final day, comp.... yday foot drill n uniform checking, both team of us ady scolded terribly by pn tan n sir.... so v promised tat 2day v al must do well in the short case n long case....
although i'm nt competing, bt i hv the nervous and anxious feeling when i'm waiting for them 2 compete.... jl cry... the 1st time i saw her crying so heavily..... she use a long time 2 do the blanket n cause dressing no time 2 fin... bt 4 of us noe tat she's ady try her best... she make me cry some more oso... huh....
champion 4 the 1st aid, overall champion... going 2 state...
nc? 2nd in 1st aid.... 3rd in the overall.....
2day only i noe wat is joy cry.... last time i always talk 2 myself tat i won cry whenever how hapi m i wan... i'm so confident wif it.... bt 2day i reali hv 2 chg my dialog.... i wil cry!!!
when they announced ns who r going 2 state, i no much feeling, coz i noe v surely wil make 2 it... bt when they were announcing nc, the 1st n 2nd name oso nt amc, i reali fed up dy.... i tell myself tat v cnt train agn anymore, after tat is just na who r training only... bt.... when they announced the 3rd team tat cn go 4 state is amc, i reali extremely shock n surprise n happy!!!!! i reali cnt bear my tears dy... i let it drop when i'm stil fall in.... i cry out loud after keluar baris..... huh.... my dream cn come true 'half-ly'..... v cn train 2geter agn!!!!
y.... gambateh.... u cn de!!!! NA & NC, GAMBATEH.... V CN DO IT DE!!!

today's feeling

2010-02-27T13:47:00.003+08:00

the result have came out... i have no feeling at the beginning... is this the result i want? i'm not sure...
i even smile in front of friends... i feel really nothing... but, when i saw them training, saw them do everything, the busy look, the tired look, the whole face cover with sweat, i feel sad. j n i r the final choice 4 the na team... i know they will choose her as she's better than me and she's really desperate wanted to go for comp. and this is the last year for her. but when i heard pn tan say she's not concentrate as she has joined too many society. i know this is the only choice for me. but finally, is she... ok, never mind. so now, i hope i can be their team manager. i know na team manager sure is f5. so i just can look for nc team. i hope to help them, looking them to go for area comp until national comp... especially y. i know she's really stress. i hope i can at her side every moment. but, it can't be. as committee said today, they all have been selected as competitors, our distance will become far, we will not be able to work together all the time. maybe our relation will swallow also...
i scare this will really happen.
if i really can be team manager, what will be my response when i saw them winning the prize? truly, i really hope all of them can make it!

j, she is the head of marching in red house. i'm just the assistant. why is she give me to do all the things? shoe lace, whistle all ask me to buy. i have already told her that i can't find. but she just keep on asking me to find. she's forcing me... if i really can't do it, she blame on me... i'm really stress. why is she just know to force people to do thing until her hopes? can't she tolerate? i'm really very stress with her.

my pencil case... i can't find it. i have left it on the table yesterday. they said they have put it in room. but when today i go and find, it's not there. i ask committee, they say they did not see it? where is it? all my stationary are there, how can i do my homework without it?

i really no mood today. i hope to cry but i could not cry out. i really very suffer...

selection

2010-02-26T19:03:00.003+08:00

2day selection....scare.... i duno wat's my feeling...
my angel n devil is fighting nw....
when i thk tat i wan 2 join, my devil keep on disturbing me....
whe i'm agreeing wif my devil, my angel keep on advising me...
wat should i do?
ok... just go 4 it... don thk anythg la.....
1st aid: huh... 2 casualty... duno hw 2 do.... luckily i treat the less injuries wan... BT, i treat wrongly!!! even did a super fish thg! 'r, cn u pls pass the KIDNEY DISH, ops... KIT 2 me?'.... everybody who heard laugh.. even sir n y.... fish die!
hn: i'm reali lk a robot! huh.... ntg 2 do when they r doing the last procedure.... act lk a silly person....
foot drill: huh... 101/160.... dis is my marks... wat means? good or nt good? i duno la...

result when noe? TMRW..... wil i in? if i reali in, i wil happy or wat? i reali duno...

10/2

2010-02-10T18:08:00.007+08:00

happy bday!!!!
dis year is a vy special year 4 me.... 1st time so many ppl wish me.... i'm reali vy touch....
at 12am, y, j and y hv sent me a bday msg....
at school, i thgt i wil just hv a silent n peace bday, bt 4s5 hv sing a loud bday song 2 me... i'm reali vy touch at tat moment...
i hide my face into the book as usual as i wil do....
when skol end, yy, ky, vt, yyy n wy hv rush 2 me 2 gv me a gift... i reali vy surprise.... i'm just their faci 4 comp team gp, bt they hv gv me a bady gift!!! i'm reali vy happy....
w n r keep on don let me bak home, act i noe what they wan 2 do....
reali, they gv me a lovely present, even sing bday song 2 me... act i thgh they hv 4gt, bt reali dono they do tat when school end...
read their card in car, nearly cry... reali vy vy vy touch.... they al use our special relation name 2 rite 2 me... although r don hv special relationship wif me, bt i oso love it vy much!!! thx u guys!!!
y n k help me 2 celebrate bday 2day. as dis is the last day they work in my house... reali hapi gt 2 snr help me 2 celebrate bday...

29/01/2010

2010-01-31T18:27:00.003+08:00

for me, 2day is reali 狼狈... the whole class is lk having war!!! WORLD WAR no.3!!!
early in the morning, is bm.... p&k.... hv 2 do 25 ques... + hv 2 copy the long ques!!! ok, dis is fine... i chat wif s, n dis make me late 2 fin the homework.... den, the pn.lau wan us 2 pass up the komsas... omg!!! i hvn fin it!!! hw? COPY is the only way!!! bt v r having other lesson.... hw cn do it in front of the teacher? i'm sitting at the 1st row...
add maths n more maths...
the 'dao gai ha ciu' sdn say wan 2 check correction.... all r busy doing it.... den sdn say wan workbook... huh.... crazy wan gar? 'up-to-date..... up-to-date'..... always ask us 2 update the workbooks... u go try n c c... u r just hving maths n add maths... bt v hv a lot of homework 2 do leh..... u thk v r computer r?

1/1

2010-01-03T19:27:00.003+08:00

happy new year.....
12.00am!!!!
v hv our countdown just in time.... hugging everybody.... y finally hv the chance 2 hug her faci.... sure i did it oso... in front of the TOILET..... lol......
snr yap... she bring me 2 inside the toilet 2 take photos..... ish.... thk bak, stil felt vy fish..... wana vomit oso..... haha..... when v came out, she's there... omg!!!! she keep on sayig wat r u al doing??? n the snr yap dun let me explain... lol... it's funi!!!! hahaha.... she vy curious!!!! hahaha.....

when bak 2 w's house.... 9 ppl in a car!!!! huh!!!!! a vy vy gud memory!!!!!
i gv the letter n present 2 her.... took photos wif her..... mayb is the last chance la..... so hv 2 'zhen xi' the oppotunity.......
cnt sleep.... coz iyt's 2 late..... 3am ithk...... never slept dis late.... chit chating with y n w..... bt stil cnt sleep.... just sleep 4 a bit..... haiz......
damp tired.....

31/12

2010-01-03T19:11:00.003+08:00

when pn tan house 2 hv the countdown party!!!
wow.... hapi...
bt i saw her... i scare again... she hv dye her hair, omg!!!! frighten me!!!!
nt dare 2 approach her 4 a long time...
just keep on playing wif comm n f3....
finally, dinner time!!!!
burn the sausages 2 snr.... she nt there... huh.....
burn the chicken wing... haha... hapi moment!!!
took many photos......

show yells.....
omg!!! fish moment!!! faci did wrong my yells.... bt vy funi...... duno reali wan angry ot laugh......
bt i'm hapi tat among facis, she noe the most!!!! i'm proud of her... haha.....
bt reali vy fish!!!!

play mafia.....
she being killed, n i'm being suspected tat among many ppl, i'm the only 1 who dare 2 kill her....
who say? it should me among al the ppl, i'm the 1 who nt dare 2 kill her!!!! finally, i die!
wat 2 do? chat lo.....
v r keeping on arguing abt the bluffing.... haha.... she said i bluff her, i say she bluff me.... so funi....
sori la.... i'm reali bluff u.....haha....
she told me a shock thg....
she say tat she's going 2 leave ipoh on 2/1... 2 study in penang.... huh... reali shock me.... haiz... so fast....

24/12

2010-01-03T18:49:00.004+08:00

took pmr result.... huh....
8As!!! huh..... finally!!!! every1 shouting happily!!!
bt dis was nt wat so imp 4 me.....
wat embarrassing me was.... i saw her.... omg!!!!
did many fish thg in camp, n as usual, i'm nt dare 2 approach her.... even look at her..... so when she came, i just pretend 2 walk around... bt.... i sure hv 2 approach her wan ma.....
so... huh... i just approach her in few sec... haha... den i faster run 2 other place 2 take news ppr photos....
bt, she was the 1 who approach me..... she gv me the santa cloze hat, a christmas card n the letter.... huh.....
finally, i took photos wif her.... haha....

went eat mdc wif snrs n w... happy moment.... i sat on w's tigh.... she lo... keep on asking me 2 go, i doubt tat is it reali gt seat.... huh.... make me so sorry 2 w's sis la...
she wan me 2 read the letter there.... almost wana cry when reading it.... huh.... luckily din let the tears drop...... huh....

2 b remembered...

2010-01-03T17:25:00.004+08:00

hw i describe my flag:

这就是我们burgundy 的flag，一看就知道这是一串葡萄，而葡萄的颜色就是我们Burgundy 的颜色。这里有十一粒葡萄，就代表着我们这组的每一个人。这串葡萄也代表着我们会团结一致做每一件事。这叶子就代表着我们的facilitator, faci lim. 为什么她会是叶子呢？因为叶子是提供营养的嘛，faci lim 就好像叶子一样，提供营养，知识，guide 我们。。。没有叶子，就没有葡萄，所以没有faci lim, 就没有我们。。。那为什么叶子是Burgundy颜色而不是青色呢？因为我们的faci lim 是特别的，她会跟我们同一条心，一起面对所有困难。而那个枝头就代表着st.john，st.john hold着我们全部人，没有st.john就没有现在的我们。篱笆就代表着支柱，使到我们努力向上爬。这边有两条 tendrils hold 着一个板，代表我们可以承受沉重的负担，使我们变得更坚强。而板里写着 she who cannot obey, cannot command，也代表着这个theme，给予我们一个责任感，要时常记住 she who cannot obey, cannot command. 我们的background 是黄色和橙色，好像光芒一样，代表着我们Burgundy 会一直发光发热。。。

hw i describe my st.john logo:

这st.john logo 是用了我们每一个人身上的一样东西来组成的。我们选着做st.john logo是因为我们都很爱st.john. 笔代表着我们聪明地选着参加了st.john. 而梳子代表我们不止爱美，也爱st.john. 没有st.john就没有现在的我们。

sharing:

mine:
faci lim。。。一开时分组时，我就在想，我的faci 会是谁。当我知道你是我的faci时，我很shock。我真的很shock，很shock，很shock。我没想到真的给我说中了。我想要在这里跟你说声thank you 和 sorry。谢谢你没一次都会来我们的group meeting，帮我们，guide我们。感谢你对我们将好。sorry是因为我令到你哭。我没有达到你的要求，令你失望了，对不起。我说过我不会哭的，但是我真的认不住了。。。

faci:
我是一个坚强的人，我不容易哭的。但是Burgundy是第一组令到我想哭的。首先我要对我的组说声对不起，我曾经说过你们很烂，其实你们没有我所说的那么差。我看到你们努力与进步，所以一定要对自己有信心。我永远引你们为荣。

3rd day of camp

2010-01-01T23:43:00.003+08:00

1. nite shift duty: hv 2 wake up so early.... duty.... members keep on hving fun themselves... haha.... although they r vy noisy, bt i love it... they make me feel tat, even they r tired, burgundy cn stil hv such energy 2 make fun......
2. flag raising
3. morning exe: stil nt duno hw 2 do... haha....
4. marching exam: huh... hv 2 shout command.... i'm nt doing well in the marching exam... i noe... mayb i'm too tired... huh... suddenly, h fell down.... she hurt her buttock.... hw anxious i m tat moment... huh..... luckily she din hurt her pelvis...
5. public speaking: my ques is: do u prefer b a leader or a follower...... a gud n challenging ques 4 me... haha... Finally, snr tan gv comments... i'm hapi tat she gt praise me.... she said tat i'm the most confident when gving speech... sigh... i'm the leader, hw cn i'm trembling leh????
6. rehearsal 4 closing ceremony: huh... reali wan die!!!! hv 2 shout the command til the whole hall cn listen.... no more voice dy!!!! even nxxa oso ask me 2 drink more water... she noe tat i'm sick... huh... reali wana thx her tat moment!
7. lunch: maggie mee cook by comm... each plate 2 ppl.... who i share wif? FACI.... reali funi tat moment.....eat 2geter n keep on laughing..... honesty, i enjoy it... hahaha..... reali vy thkful 2 her tat she help me 2 drink the sauty soup of the maggie... she noe tat i sore throat cnt drink, bt i oso noe tat her sore throat is worse than me.... reali vy touch tat time... huh.....
8. photo taking session: i thgt tat wil hv group photo.... BT.... i'm disappointed! NO GROUP PHOTOS!!!! i'm reali vy vy vy sad n angry!!!! bt... no use......
9. closing ceremony: finaly reach.... i reali nt able 2 shout the command... huh.... i'm so 'nei jiu' wif tat... truely..... n i saw faci cry... she cry seriously... i duno wat 2 do tat time, at tat moment, i reali gt a 'cong dong' 2 hug her de..... bt i cnt la... there's 2 many ppl there..... huh.....
10. packing 2 back: faci tell me many thgs.... she kee on asking me gt anythg 2 tell her or nt.. bt it's 2 sudden, hw cn my brain turn so fast 2 sak or tell her leh.... haiz... i hug her b4 i bak.... huh....

2nd day of camp

2010-01-01T23:16:00.003+08:00

1. flag raising: my turn... huh... anxious.... bt it's fun when everybody sings while i'm raising the flag....
2. morning exe: duno hw 2 do... wuhaha... bt it's fun...
3. breakfast: members did better after i scold them during the 1st day reflection.... they r more fast in motion... i lk it....
4. marching n voice of command: hv 2 shout the command.... i hv no voice... sore throat.... bt hv 2 shout til faci cn hear me frm the field opposite.... i'm the leader bt i cnt do well.... reali drops some tears aftertat....
5. fromation prac: reali vy emotional... scold them in front of facis.... mayb it's bcoz of i'm 2 stress, n they keep on dreaming n nt doing nicely... reali no voice 2 shout al those, faci help me 2 shout command 2 train them.... i noe she's sore throat oso... bt she stil wan help me... i'm sori.....
6. cooking comp: huh... reali cooperate... fast motion... i lk it vy much...
7. lecture: a vy vy vy boring lecture... i'm vy sleepy bt i cnt sleep coz i'm sitting 2 front.... huh... reali suffer tat day....
8. performance comp: huh... the 1st group... dance well.... n finally... v in... v cn perform in the closing ceremony.... ooo... hw hapi am i.... n faci 2.......
9. marching: huh... the most relaxing marching..... huh....
10. dinner n bathing: the last 1 who bath..... cook..... panic.. duno hw 2 cook... huh.... eat in hall... al 2geter.... hv some secret share wif faci 2... haha....
11. sahring: huh.... rite smt at the bak of faci.... after i rote... i cry.... i'm the 1st 1 who cry in sharing... i noe.... when the lights off, huh.... cry out til cnt stop... the 1st wan who say thg was FACI..... huh.... when she's saying.... i cry more seriously..... after i caim myself down.... i said.... huh..... during sharing, the most ppl who say were frm burgundy.... ahhhhhh......
12. feedback: faci cough.... i pat her bak... haha... bt... i'm vy sad... she's vy tired n sick... reali felt vy sori....
13. reflection: i praise them.... it's reali a better job 2day.... suddednly, al leaders hv 2 c camp commander, 2 learn a new lapor 4 closing ceremony.....
14. sleeping: cnt sleep oso... coz it's 2 early.... so i chat wif y... she told me manythings... haha... smt reali shock me.... she say she admire me when she's f1.... reali gt shock!!!!!

1st day of camp

2010-01-01T22:48:00.003+08:00

1. registration: huh....1st 1 who reach, scare when saw faci... (it's usually wan)
2. briefing: 1st time greet faci, my legs were trembling seriously....
3. flag raising: no 1 greet comm after tat, who al us leader b down... omg!!!! 1st down in camp!
4. pitch-up tents: 'a' tent, 4gt 2 pitch up dy..... faci duno.... 1st say sori 2 me... huh.... duno wan gv her wat expression 2 her... y n s help me..... the y r... vy disgusting la... keep on saying my group members vy free..... huh.....
5. marching: huh.... she's nt stratifies wif us frm the morning tat time.... many thg hv happen just in 2 hrs... haiz... member lost dis, lost tat.... bring wrong thgs.... haiz.....
6. games: always lost la.... play til so dirty....
7. lunch: nt enuf rice... huh...... bt al hv rice 2 eat la...
8. lecture: map reading...cnt 5 even 1.... so lost dy....
9. marching: reali scold by faci.... she say seem burgundy just 1 person n tat's me....others seem disappear dy.... she say she wan 2 cry... v r the 1st group tat almost make her cry...i'm so sad when i heard dis.... huh..... reali wan 2 cry tat time... bt i bear wif it!!!!
10. dinner, bathing: too much rice, cnt fin oso..... no enuf water 2 bath, cos members late 2 take bath... huh.....
11. ice breaking: 1st group describing my flag, yells, n oso the shape v did at tat time.... huh..... i'm wondering y i'm the 1st group.... bt i thk it's my luck... haha.. i cn c tat faci keep on facing 2 the ground when i'm describing the flag related 2 her..... she oso gt praise me when i cn turn my brain so fast 2 ans those tricky ques.... haha.... the pattern, it's a st.john logo..... every1 claps their hands... wow....
12. reflection: another time i wana cry..... bt bear on oso... i cnt cry..... i told myself.... faci gv comments, she say i'm gud in distributing jobs, bt just gud at it only.... haiz... she told me the comments frm my members... most r gud comments frm them, just they say i'm hot temper.... once again... wana cry la......huh....faci oso say tat i make her wana cry again... she say it's too touch.... i thk it's bcoz of the flag....
13. sleeping: cnt sleep, keep on thking wat faci told me tat day... her comments..... smt funi.... i cuddle y's bottle 2 fall asleep.... haha....

tmrw......

2009-12-23T23:11:00.002+08:00

tmrw.... pmr result is coming out soon.....
wat's my feeling nw?
no feeling!!!!!
hahaha....
i'm vy excited 2 take photos wif all my frens....
i cnt let 2009 end wif no photos wif all my frens... esp she, reali never took photos wif her b4... even in camp!!!
vy yi han....
so hv 2 take tmrw!!!!
n al my frens n buddies!!!!! must take!!!!
dun wan care abt pmr result liao!!!!! hahaha

special for Y

2009-12-23T23:07:00.003+08:00

reali gt many thgs 2 tell u...
when u ask me gt thg 2 tel u, i cnt thk dao....
it's 2 sudden...
hw cn my brain turn so fast...
bt when i back, i thk dao many many many 2 ask u!!! it's reali....
i gt many thgs 2 tell u.....
u say u wan 2 rite a letter 4 me, act i'm thking wheter wana rite 2 u oso or nt.....
reali miss u lot....
thx 4 ur protection!
hope i gt chance 2 tell u al i wan 2 tell......

back frm camp!!!

2009-12-23T22:12:00.005+08:00

finally, bak frm camp!!! reali tired
i love dis year's camp! LOVE IT SO MUCH!
many memories 4 me....
1st time b a leader, 1st time b sleep without mosquito bite, 1st time bath in camp without ppl knocking my door n frighten me, 1st time no voice stil hv 2 shou command, 1st time cry in the camp- is cry seriuosly... 1st time so fish on the stage in front of so many ppl, 1st time hv a so so so so gud faci bside me.....

1st day.....
my group reali gt scold by faci.... 1st time scold by her.... i'm reali wana cry tat moment... i noe she's nt scolding me, i'm sad tat she say BURGUNDY seem just gt only 1 person- me.... others, dissapear.... hw sad m i when i listen 2 dis....
pitch up tent--- y looking at me, reali vy stress... her voice is reali disgusting.... huh.....
ice breaking... i thk my description of the flag is the best among 10 groups... n my faci say she wana cry when she heard of tat..... huh....... act when i heard wat she say, i oso wa 2 cry, i just bear my tears frm dropping down only...

2nd day......
BURGUNDY has chg bcom better...... hw hapi m i...... they r so 积极......
dis is when i feel my group is bak.....
sharing time..... 2 parts:
1st part... rite msg on ppl's bak... the 1st person i wrote was my faci... reali many thgs 2 tell her..... after i wrote, i cry... reali cnt bear dy......
2nd part.... lights al off..... when i read wat she wrote 2 me, n heard wat she say 2 BURGUNDY... i cry more seriously...... i'm reali felt vy vy sori 2 her..... huh..... times 4 me 2 say smt 2 her.... again... said with my trembling-crying voice..... i duno she gt cry or nt, bt i noe i hv make many ppl gry.... esp y... my eyes r so red n swelling..... huh.....

3rd day......
nite shift duty... woke up at 4am!!!! so tired......
bt i'm hapi tat my members telling jokes although they r sleepy..... tst's was the most happiest time seeing them..... they r reali funi......
rehersal 4 closing ceremony.... no sound, bt hv 2 shout command loudly, coz many snrs r there....
finally, end wif no voice... omg!!!!!
lunch.... share maggie mee wif my faci..... reali a hapi moment.... i thk among 10 groups, just group 7-BURGUNDY's leader n faci gt so close til eat the same plate of maggie mee.....
closing ceremony...... reali no voice dy... so hv 2 let y 2 shout the command..... n i thk bcoz of me, the formation nt gud dy..... haiz... reali felt sori 2 burgundy n scarlet...... performance..... reali vy vy vy vy fish.......
hw cn i'm so fish... as a leader, i keep on asking them nt 2 dance wrong, bt i did it... i dance wrongly n heard the laugh frm the audience..... even my faci saw it.... huh...... so fish.... bt when i ask them, they say i'm vy cute!!!!! omg!!!!! reali wan dig a big hole 2 jump in n bury myself.....
after the closing ceremony... i saw faci cried!!! omg!!! my heart was so messy tat time... wat should i do? huh..... i just cn keep on asking her nt 2 cry... i noe some of ur reason tat make u cry... bt i hope tat i cn noe all the reason.... reali 'bu she de' when wana say goodbye 2 her... the 1st time i hv dis feeling 2 my faci, the past 2 years oso dun hv de.... mayb she's reali treat me sooooo gud!

best leader: oyc--- maroon
best camper: hyl--- burgundy
best group: violet
best cooking: violet

SHE WHO CANOT OBEY, CANNOT COMMAND! i love dis camp!
BURGUNDY!!!! i love dis group!!!!!!!
LBY!!!!! i love u!!!!!!!!! i miss u!!!!!i wil never 4gt u!!!!!

1 more weeks

2009-12-09T17:45:00.003+08:00

1 more weeks.......
camp reach!
huh......
feel nervous nw! i thk my nitemare is coming 2 attack me!
huh.......
many thgs hvn settle!
FIREWOOD! the biggest problem 4 me! al say cnt 5, den tat day hw 2 cook r? 3 meals leh!!!!
haiz! i surely wil die 4 it!
y hvn bak.....
dis few days, no 1 cn let me cal 2 relieve my stress!
she's nt here, so.... just cal l n w lu......
bt stil reali vy 'fan' nw!
my flag! tmrw hv 2 let them c the flag! the colour!!!!! if they reali say the coour is nt burgundy, hw cn i do r?
redraw? NO WAY! i hv no more time!!!!!
snr lim, u say wil protect me........ pls help me 2 fight 4 it!!!!!!!!!
haiz.........

Busy

2009-12-09T17:07:00.004+08:00

recently reali vy busy.........
busy wif camp, hn exam, comp.......
huh....
4 me, 2009's school holiday r nt HOLIDAY!
i stil nid 2 go 2 skol almost few days in a week!

camp:
finally, group performance wif w settle! huh.....
honestly, my group is more neat n more rmb the steps compare 2 w's group.......
if they reali dance lk tat, i scare v cn win! haiz.......
bt, at least they r more better than wat i saw them at the 1st time...... i mean w's group
formation.......
haiz.... headache again.....
i thought it's oso finally fin, bt........ comm tey us tat V DID WRONGLY!
OMG!
i hv 2 rethink al the position they hv 2 go, hw cn save their energy, hw 2 go 2 yells!!!!
huh.......
al i hv 2 thk myself!
when i nid y, she's oversea happying!
haiz.......
the ppr is on her hand! i cnt rmb the shape! hw?
again------- al thk by myself!
hv 2 thx 2 ppl here who helping me lot's 4 tis:
------------W----------------
------------L-----------------
THX LOT 4 HELPING ME WHEN I'M HEADACH-ING!

pck performance!
hvn done any pracitice successfully.......
act hv planned 2 stay bak 2 practise
bt finally, al gone..... dono go where.......
i hv told her abt tat day snr c n snr l c us n the ques they ask......
i oso told her tat the ans y them ans.....
reali gek sei her......... dun say her..... i oso gek sei when i heard it!
haiz.....
hope tat they themselves wil band us! haha..... hw wil y, w n al of them feel when they c wat i write!

hn exam:
3rd year......
exam nt same as past year......
dis year's exam is just lk wat v hv 2 do during comp!
it's vy vy vy difficult, although i hvn sit 4 it. even the y n t oso feel it difficult...they r comp team! they oso feel hard, hw abt us?
sure fail la! by nw, i noe tat w, y n p hv failed! they hv 2 sit 4 the reexam!
den me leh? huh...... nt dare 2 thk of it nw........
so nw i just hv 2 read al the procedures! huh......
pls dun ask BP! i sure wil die 4 it! n my bandaging! OMG!

comp:
act, nw i din busy wif comp. y? coz i ady no time!
no more time 4 me 2 practise comp!
i always c h n jl practise their comp.....
bt i?
haiz......
hw m i going 2 the selection wif just a few practises?
sure die la!
HAIZ!

Scare...........

2009-11-24T16:03:00.003+08:00

i'm vy scare nw... my heart lk thumping... vy vy messy........
she told me:' u hv 2 gt ready tat i will leave 1 day.....'
huh.......
reali reali scare........
if she reali leave, wat should i do? i hv 2 folo a new 1? i cn guess who she wil b.......
I DON WANT!!!!!!!
if u r here beside me, i will more 'an xin'........ pls don abandon me!!!!!!!
PLS DON!!!!!
PLS!!!!!!!

i din fel tat u r over controlling me..... besides tat, i feel hapi u r always here wif us.....
it's reali many of them r nt always b there looking 4 their group, bt i feel hapi tat u r caring 4 us bt nt CONTROLLING us.......

pls don listen 2 them..... nt nid 2 bother them..... v just nid u......

if u r there always at my side, i will more 'an xin' i cn ask u whatever i'm nt understand n don noe...
so pls..... DON LISTEN NOR BOTHER THEM!!!!!
PLS DON ABANDON ME N US!!!!!

Lucky?

2009-11-22T14:59:00.003+08:00

nw i really feel tat i'm vy vy vy lucky.......
y? coz my instructor is LBY........
haha... many of them r so jealous n envy me.........
haha.......
she's really vy gud...... hvn scold me until nw ( bt i duno future)
although she is f5, hving spm nw, compare 2 others snr, i cn feel tat she's more caring for us......
she wil come our meeting when she's free..... even she hv exam afterwards...... i even saw her holding her ppr. doing revision 4 the next ppr after 1 hr......
bt when i ask others groups whom instructor is snr, they tell me tat, they din cum... nt even once....
compare 2 others instructor, she's reali help me a lot.....
others instructor less help their leader 2 thk, they say they wana them 2 plan themselves....
bt i'm nt mean tat snr lim dun wan me 2 grow, she just wana help me... i noe!!!!!
i really feel so luck n thankful 2 her..... it's really......

n i feel tat it is a 'yuan fen' between me n she....
y do i say so? coz v posing a lot of same characteristic.
v r both talkative person, self-lover, a lot of 'gui ji' n iq ques.......
i rbm whenever she's asking those lame iq ques, i wil ans wil ful joy.......
haha...
just 1 thing i thk i'm nt as good as she is---- creativity......
she's reali a vy vy vy creativity person...... she cn help me thk many things just in a short time....
i cn, bt i just nid 2 use much more time than her......

Stress

2009-11-22T14:49:00.004+08:00

feeling vy stress nw........
bt i noe every leader is facing the same problem wif me....
so i'm nt going 2 blame anything.......
so just rite it out.....
wat make me so stress?
1. camp....

camp is coming soon. bt our meeing just 4 times!!!!!
hw cn? n v nid 2 ready 4 everything.... yells, formation, performance, f3 performance, name tag, flag......
n nw i'm racing wif time.......
huh..... cn i do it? i hope i cn!!!!!!

2. comp

nt just thking of camp, comp oso.....
i keep on asking them 2 study, bt i din....
it's because i hv use al my time thking of my camp......
bt i hv 2 noe more n clear than them......
i always tell myself, I'M THE LEADER.......
i must lead them.......nt just wat pn tan say, al follow together.........

An Meaningful Article

2009-11-14T21:13:00.004+08:00

I am an incredible person.I was created in God's image.That means I have a great heritage.

I am a positive thinker.I look for the best in myself,all people,and in all situations.That because of the law of my attraction,I find the best in myself,all people,and in all situations.

Happiness is a choice and I choose happiness and i find it too.

Many have failed before me, but i will NOT FAIL! I am learning and continue to learn success principles.I hold in my hands a manual for success.Success leaves clues and I have discovered that secret clues.These sucess principles have lived the lest of time.They are laws that have developed my philosophy.

I am a persistent champion!Many quit on the yard line but not me.I will persist until I cross the finish line.I am a champion who takes action and I persist to victory.
I believe in a continuous improvement. Everyday,I strive to be better than I was yesterday.It does not take leaps and bounds to have great success.All it takes is one step at a time.Each step takes me closer to my dream .I am improving!I am champion!

I believe in the Laws of Averages and so I do not fear rejection.I know that the more times that I hear "no" then the more "yes" I will hear right around corner.The Laws of Averages is consistent and tends to repeat itself.I use Laws of Averages and i win!
Just like the farmer who plants seeds in the spring expecting a harvest in the fall,I plant the seeds of success everyday and I expect a harvest too.Every once in a while,the locusts and the storm steal our harvest,but more times than not,there is a harvest...and a beautifully large harvest it is.Much larger than the seeds I planted.I believe in the seeds and the harvest.

tired

2009-11-14T20:36:00.005+08:00

woke up at 6.15am, same wif skol days.....
y? coz gt group meeting....
snr lim came, scare me........
hai hao i spoke well.......
haha........
reali shock when announced tat she's my instructor.......
heard frm many ppl, she's a person who wan everything perfect, everythg good........
she even told me tat she hope tat v cn gt all the prize, including best LEADER N best GROUP!!!
huh....... nw i cn felt a big stone on my shoulder!!!!!

during meeting:
i thought tat m din cum, i'm vy vy worry.......
coz i nid 2 clean compound at 12.15pm-1.00pm n wil hv comp course at 1pm....
hw i eat?
i ask many ppl, they just dun wan clean however they r free......
so no 1 help me.........
all the meeting, i'm reali down, even j ask me y, bt i din hv the mood 2 tel her......
however, finally settle...... she came.......

comp course:
sir told us tat v cn divide our group ourselves, bt y they divide wif us leh?
ish.....
it even worse when i same group wif x....... ish........
bt y, w n l cn SAME GROUP!!!!!! hw cn!!!! it's nt fair!!!!!!!!
huh!!!!! 5 la!!!!!1
although i'm leader, bt hw cn i control her?
she's the 1 who noe a bit n pretend noe everythg wan........
if she did anythg wrong, hw should i tel her? scold her? hw abt she dun wan listen 2 me or gv me black face?
huh.... reali vy 烦!
mayb dis is wat a leader should face!!!!!!

responsibility

2009-11-07T20:35:00.005+08:00

finally divide camp group!
i'm group 7, Burgundy leader....
huh....
from nw on, i hv 2 b more responsible n hv more confident.......
bt i hv make a wrong decision.
y n h, who should i let 2 bcome assis?
y is gud although she is just f2.
h, em...... i really duno.... she is a bit blur n dun wan 2 listen 2 other ppl sometime
bt....... she is f3 nw. if i dun let her do, she won hv any chance ady! bt y stil hv next year.....
haiz.......
finally, i told them. n i hv settle down.... i duno wat they r thking nw!!!!
huh.......
should i tell dis 2 instructor? same thg, i duno wat she wil thk of!!!!

12pm.......
a thg tat i thought b4 hv really happen
pn t , sir n snrs c us....
nt c, is scold.......
i thought tat b4, bt duno it's really happen 2day.........
cn c tat pn t is really vy vy vy vy angry n disappoint!
huh!!!!!!! 30 min!!!!!
dis 30 min really passing as slow as a tortoise walking!!!!

so nw, i'm nt going 2 thk anything, i just wana looking 4ward, planning next plan 2 do......
may i hv any support?
huh.....
nvm!!!!
believe myself!!!!!!

cry

2009-10-31T22:00:00.004+08:00

y? y? y?
y u wana play like dis?
do u noe tat they r like dis tat nite?
i won 4gt tat day, n u hv made me thk bak the incident i wana 4gt.........
i reali scare tis wil happen again n i hope it wil never happen agian......
u duno y i cry, u just thk of i cnt bear on u say 'tat', act tat's the reason y i cry......

31/11

2009-10-31T21:18:00.006+08:00

i thought tat i cn put down the comp......
i cnt sleep last night, n when i wake up, i gt a vy vy strong feeling tat smt wil happen
reali.....
y ask us y f3 just 2 ppl taking part?
they ask me.....
huh.... i really duno hw 2 say......
she told me tat they were so disappoint tat last year i 'tarik diri'.......
sure i gt reason only i wil leave.....
bcoz of this words, i hv write down my name wif cw.........
later on, sir c us...
he hv told us many many thgs.......
at tat moment, i told myself: gv it as a try
after i chat wif yi in msn, n finally rmb my eng course.....
i hesitate again.......
my eng is really bad n i hope i cn improve my eng during the holidays......
bt i scare i wil hv no time again........
although they say the training time is set by our own, bt is this fair 2 other team mates?

honestly, if ppl ask me y i wan 2 join, i wil tell her tat dis cn gain experience, confidence, many many more thgs + i cn gt more coco marks + i hv the opportunity 2 gt higher post
on the other hand, if ppl ask y m i hesitating, i wil say tat i worry tat i wil hv no much time. mon, wed, thurs, fri oso hc tt......
the only day i cn study is on sat n sun.....
training wil use up my study time. however mum din disagree i join, bt i scare she wil blame 1 day when my result turn out in a bad result

haiz.....
really duno hw..........
i really 烦烦烦烦烦烦!!!!!!!!

30/10

2009-10-30T20:14:00.004+08:00

2 weeks practise 4 the flag performance finally hv been performed in the pks' retirement party......
huh.... act i'm nt scare when i'm on the stage, i'm just feel a bit nervous......
haha....i did al correctly......
after i finished, i heard ppl screaming my name..... i thk dis was the 1st time my name being screamed.....
felt a bit shame bt oso hapi, at least they gt gv some face 2 me.......... wakakaka.......

hn course n comp team registration
i hv thk of many time n finally decided 2 go 4 the hn course, bt i fail 2 go......
the course is just open 2 4 ppl....... w n phv register......
the 1 who hv thk tat dun wan go n hv persuaded by us finally registered.......
haiz...... of the fault is i'm late! i'm just later than them...... or 1 of the 'seat' wil b mine.....
haiz........

comp team...... finally i bak home......
2day is the last day 4 comp team registration...... bt hw cn they just gv us 1 day 2 thk of????/
act, i din hv the feeling 2 join at the beginning coz :
1. i hv join b4, i noe hw tired it is
2. i'm afraid of my academic

bt after i called bro c n thk of my coc marks, i'm hv thk of take part again...... for few hours.....
bt, there's not many f3 ppl join, n even them........
when i step into my car n leave the skol, i noe tat i cnt regret, even if i regret, its too late!!!!!
so fine....
i wil more focus on my flag......
well, i hv been in the flag comp, so mayb i stil gt chances 2 take part competition........
huh.......
i noe tat i won get high post next year, bt.....

Love Like This-SS501

2009-10-23T19:54:00.003+08:00

[Hyung Jun] Hey girl, now I show you
Stop your heart Won’t you, my girl (my girl)

[Jung Min] Always hesitant, you are really a fool Really a fool
Oh~ Talk to me

[Kyu Jong] Why, you don’t know You don’t know me
I wish that you will take away my whole heart

[Young Saeng] (I have) no hesitation No trembling (not nervous) My love!

Love, come to me. You, like this
So Love, waiting for you girl
True Love, approach (me). You, like this
One Love, you, me, you come to me.

[Jung Min] Hey Girl! Today of all days, you look prettier
My heart’s key ~ Owner (is) none other than you Girl ~

[Hyun Joong] If (I) recall, I am very nervous
Precious none other than you, my Baby Baby

[Hyung Jun] Why, don’t you know You don’t know me
I wish that you will take away my whole heart

[Young Saeng] I don’t need another I only wish for Your Love!

Love, come to me. You, like this
So Love, waiting for you girl
True Love, approach (me). You, like this
One Love, you, me, you come to me.

Love, come to me. You, like this
So Love, waiting for you girl
True Love, approach (me). You, like this
One Love, you, me, you come to me

[Hyun Joong] I need you

[Jung Min] You need me

[Kyu Jong] We will eventually be together

[Hyung Jun] Don’t hesitate, follow me only

[Young Saeng] Now~~~ Yeah~

Love, come to me. You, like this
So Love, waiting for you girl
True Love, approach (me). You, like this
One Love, you, me, you come to me

[형준] Hey Girl, 이젠 너를 보여줘 내게

그만 너의 맘을 Won’t you, my girl (my girl)

[정민] 항상 망설이는 넌 정말 바보 정말 너는 바보
오~ 말해줘요

[규종] 왜, 넌 모르니 넌 날 모르니
널 원하는 내 맘 모두 다 가져가줘

[영생] 내게 거침없이 떨림없이 your love!

* Love, 내게 와 넌, like this
So Love, 기다린 너란 girl
True love, 다가와 넌 like this
One Love, 넌 내게 넌 내게로

[정민] Hey Girl! 오늘따라 더 예뻐보여
내 맘의 Key~주인 바로 넌 Girl~

[현현중] 널 떠올리면, 나는 너무 떨려
소중한 너 바로 나의 Baby Baby

[형준] 왜, 넌 모르니(왜) 넌 날 모르니 (왜)
널 원하는 내 맘 모두 다 가져가줘.

[영생] 딴 건 필요없어 오직 원하는 건 Your Love

* Love, 내게 와 넌, like this
So Love, 기다린 너란 girl
True love, 다가와 넌 like this
One Love, 넌 내게 넌 내게로

Love, 내게 와 넌, like this
So Love, 기다린 너란 girl
True love, 다가와 넌 like this
One Love, 넌 내게 넌 내게로

[현중] I need you,

[정민] You need me.

[규종] 우리는 결국 함께 할 꺼야

[형준] 망설이지마, 나만 따라와

[영생] 이젠~~~yeah~

Love, 내게 와 넌, like this
So Love, 기다린 너란 girl
True love, 다가와 넌 like this
One Love, 넌 내게 넌 내게로

Damn Angry

2009-10-22T17:02:00.003+08:00

22/10/2009...... i hate dis day!!!!!!!!!!

i seldom bring 'contraband'.... 2day i brought, n finally SPOT CHECK..... Y Y Y???????
my 217 epop..... hyun joong as the wallpaper!!!!!!!! huh!!!!!!
although i'm nt extremely lk hyun joong, bt SS501‘s , tvxq's 专访 n many many more.....
hgg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i noe dis is my fault, bt i'm angry of my stupid n 'honesty'.
the disgusting prefect who recorded my name hv left, y i dun take out the monopoli as an exchange with my epop leh???? i noe they din confiscate the monopoli......
y i just realize tat after i gv them my epop?????
extremely stupid la me.............
hgg.......

dis was nt enough 2 make me angry lk dis......
tat's 1 more:
flag practise 4 pks' fair well.....
always nt enough ppl.....
if i know dis b4, i surely won go 2 skol.....
n my epop won b confiscated!!!!!!!
therefore, t say comm nit 2 c on mon, y they dun treasure the time?
just noe hw 2 waste time... playing.....
n always repeat the same steps tat ady in order n know well?
y dun try 2 start some new steps?
n still nid 2 ask everybody go in front 2 c how neat it is........
all dis was just wasting time!!!!!

huh!!!!
she was the 1 who scolded ppl, n she was also the 1 who wasted time ......
yak!!!!!!!

so 2day my feeling is extremely frustrated, dejection n.......... haiz......

Damn Happy

2009-10-20T18:23:00.003+08:00

woo~hoo~.......
2day i'm extremely happy n excited!!!!!
happy til mad!!!!
all my fren say me carzy......... haha.....
wat makes me so happy lk dis?

1. a told me tat our attendance hv close- tat's mean i cn absent whenever i lk
2. SS501 hv release a new album- Rebirth- woo.....good 2 listen....... really nice........
3. i found sb 2 ganti me duty room: y - i no nid 2 go skol tmrw- tat's mean i no nid 2 wear my uniform..... hahaha.......
4 x return my pen drive - i hv loads of song 2 listen..... ~korean songs~: DBSK, FT ISLAND

happy happy n happy.........

PMR end......

2009-10-13T18:18:00.003+08:00

Finally a 5 days exam fin......
nw all f3 r merdeka!!!!!
hahaha.......
i cn b my JPSA manager agian....... wat's tat? ( i thk only my family member noe it)
by the way, i hv promised myself tat i wan 2 enjoy life after dis horrible exam...... n now, i cn promise 2 my promise!!!
YU-HOO!!!!!!!
wat 2 do????

作文

2009-10-01T18:30:00.003+08:00

终于，我的华语作文派回来了。。。。
分数令我下了一大跳。。。
‘甲上'!!!!!!!!!
这是我中学那么久，写过那么多作文，第一次得这么高的分数。。。。
当初还以为只有仅仅的‘乙等’。。。
哈哈。。。。
这真是要谢谢我的‘老哥’啦！！！
如果这是真正的PMR多好呢！！！！！！
发梦吧！！！！

1/10

2009-10-01T18:23:00.003+08:00

a new day of new month....
PMR coming nearer......
bt wat i hv done???
nothing?
who say???? haha....
act i hv prepare everything b4 TRIAl!!!!!
m i terrible? haiz....
duno y, although pmr is coming, i din feel any nervous.....
i just gt a bit worry abt my bahasa ppr.......
the most weak subj...

bak skol....
3p10 improve....
26 ppl present.....
haha.....
even miss hiew smile.....
i keep on saying my rallying point is so high....
coz when i din come, no 1 come.....
bt when i come, many ppl come.....
haha....
bt just syok sendiri...... wakaka....

30/9

2009-10-01T18:18:00.003+08:00

din go skul 2day.....
play truant 2day..... the 1st time ponteng without reason.....
the only reason is, i wan study at home.... hahaha....
bt..... i failure.....
i hv told myself tat i cnt play comp b4 PMR!!!!!
bt 2day, i keep on study sejarah til BORED!!!!!!
n finally, i'm sitting in front of the comp again......
viewing their video.......
omg!!!!!!!

when tt, ask k only noe tat just 20 ppl presented in skol!!!! omg!!!!!
so tmrw sure i hv 2 go...... haiz....

五步曲

2009-09-25T14:37:00.003+08:00

“ 希望变成期望，期望变成失望，失望变成绝望，绝望变成愤怒。。。”
不知怎么的，这句话变成我家每人的口头禅。。。
哦，想起来了，是从叔母的口中的来的。。。
为什么好好的两兄弟会变成这样呢？
看到他们现在这样，我真的很怕他们现在的地步会发生在“他们” 两兄弟身上。。。。
这句话我们虽吧它当成是笑话，但真的不希望有天这句话会变成无法弥补的地步。。。
虽‘他’说不可能，但当我想起那天晚上发生的事时，我就对这句话有所保留。。。

华语作文

2009-09-13T19:19:00.003+08:00

诡计我就多，要我想题材。。。。。难倒我了。。。。
十五个题目要我选？天啊！！！！
戴老师是傻的吗？
最后为有找我的 'Q‘ 王--- 大哥帮我了。。。。
’Q' 王可不是浪得虚名。。。
他真的帮我想到一个绝世好‘Q'。。。。真人真事耶。。。。
哈哈。。我终于可以下笔了。。。
我想了整个下午都想不出，他只需区区的15分钟就给了我题材。。。。
真的爱死他。。。。
哈哈。。。。’服‘字给他！！！！！

11/9

2009-09-12T14:11:00.003+08:00

YD's bday!!!!! reali hope 2 noe how he's going 2 celebrate.......
hapi 21 years old bday!!!!!!
wish his dream will come true!!!
LOVE + SUPPORT him!!!!!!

bro's marriage

2009-09-12T13:02:00.005+08:00

9/9/09, i went 2 kl 2 attend bro's register ceremony....... from nw on, i hv 2 cal cl ' 嫂嫂‘。。。hehe..... a bit nt used to....
bt tat day was also an unlucky day 4 us..... Y?
dad had borrowed a car from his friend, coz his bmw had problem. its my dream car- HARIER...... really so hapi..... hv tat opprtunity 2 ride on...... bt, when v reach kl, the can SPOIT!!!!!! OMG!!!!
on the way v were going 2 PUTRAJAYA....... so?????
v went there by TAXI....... so how a bout the car? my 2nd bro had 2 look after the car, waited 4 a formen...... finally, the car was taken 2 TOYOTA WORKSHOP 2 repair...... pity bro charles......
v reached at PUTRAJAYA, it cost RM40!!!!! haiz....... n there, the ceremony just took at least 5 min only!!! + took phtos, at least v just stay there 4 30 min only!!!!! RM40 go there just 30 min!!!!! -_-
after tat, v bak 2 bro's house by his car.....
bath + rest there.... tired !!!!!!!!!!
then, v went 2 the workshop 2 take the car..... pity bro, wait 4 few hours...... reali vy grandeur.....
after dinner, bak ipoh.... the next day stil nid 2 go skol...... i'm oso vy PITY la....

dead of grandpa

2009-08-14T15:12:00.003+08:00

i stil rmb it was on 22nd of june( wed).....
i went bak 2 class from canteen 2 photostate, i just sat 4 few min, checking my maths....
suddenly, my bro came 2 my class...... i'm so shock..... i'm wondering is it i hv left smt important or he had 4gt my off skol time? i went out.....
my bro told me, grandpa had pass away..... i'm shock..... til nw.... i stil cn rmb every word he said.....it stil in my mind......
i went bak into class n started 2 keep my things ready 2 go bak home....at tat moment, my hands n legs were trembling seriously...... i even icnt speak out or listen any words at tat moment.... MY MIND WAS BLANK
3 days the funeral was held..... dis was the time 4 all relatives met together.... bt dis was nt a gud time 4 meeting...... howeverer, v al stil gt chit chat when free, v r nt as sad as the tv showed, coz grandpa ady had everythings, even a great-granddaughter......
v al r vy vy tired dis 3 days..... n finaly i noe wat a person do during funeral......
i cried..... i cried when i'm bathing..... no 1 cn listen..... i sad tat my last seen him was few weeks ago.... da had always went 2 the old-folks home, he even asked me 2 go down 2 c him, bt i was 2 lazy 2 go down.... bt the final time 1 saw him was on the 3rd day in the funeral......
i stil cn rmb wat i did in those 3 days....... i cnt 4gt...... even nw i saw bak his phtos, i oso gt a feeling.....
grandpa, hope u cn rest in peace.....

many things happen...

2009-08-14T14:47:00.003+08:00

reali gt a long time i din sign in 2 dis blog.....
i thk is since michale jackson died, bcoz tat day hv a extremely strong tunder n coz al my things in spoilt...... roof.... electrical gate...fax telephone... modem.... astro.... lights.....fans.....n i oso gt how many more.... cn imagine how much v hv paid 4 those things? over rm1000.....
bcoz of i cnt on9 due 2 the spoilt of modem, i stop on9 2 prepare my trial......
bt.... amny things hv happen dis pass time......
including...... the dead of my grandpa......

bak 2 skol

2009-06-14T21:20:00.003+08:00

tmrw bak skol again... act i'm quit hapi.... coz i'm reali feel bore at home.... do nothing at home... just watch tv, on9!!! dunno y, dis holiday i din hv the mood 2 study.... dunno is it play 2 over!!!! hope tat i cn 'keep my heart' 2 study when skol day start! REALI VY BORING!

关心

2009-06-09T13:14:00.003+08:00

关心的意识到底是什么?
只是向某人问好而已吗?
我觉得..... 不只... 当他/她们遇到困难时, 能为他/她做些什么的, 也算是关心吧.
如果告诉他人, 叫他们给与需要关心的人一份关心, 而那时候,他确实需要他的关心, 我觉得那才是我对他的真正关心吧!
当他最需要关怀和支持的时候, 你默默地支持他, 已经是最好的一份关心了.
关心一个人, 不需要别人来讲, 才去做. 那不叫关心, 而是听从指示.
关心一个人, 未必要让他们知道, 如果你是真正关心他的话, 他一定感受到的.
关心一个人不难, 只要一句问侯, 就能让需要关心的人感到欣慰了.

Willing?

2009-06-09T12:57:00.004+08:00

yday dad bring me 2 gt injection 4 preventing cervix cancer. i hv 2 inject three times n it cost $300 per injection. hw expensive it is........
after tat, dad bring mum 2 look 4 a doctor. her leg is swelled, n the doctor say tat if mum's leg din heal after 2 months, she hv 2 do operation. omg!!!! mum is worry tat she cnt walk 1 day, n i'm oso vy scare... just i din mention it..... mum told me tat the yday's cost is up 2 $100..... how dear it is leh......
i hv beg dad 2 buy a new laptop 4 me as i hate dis comp bt he refuse. he said tat if i cn gt good result in my pmr, he will buy 1. bt nw when i thk of he hv spent so much on me ( the injection) n mum's, i ask myself m i rite 2 ask him none stop 2 buy a laptop? haiz... i thk i just cn wait until dad is wiliing 2 buy coz i reali nt willing 2 beg him none stop 2 buy AGAIN.

感触?

2009-06-08T12:18:00.007+08:00

i hv ady 1 week din post.... act i hv many things wana rite here, i just dun hv time 2 post...
i hv viewed few blogs of my fren n i hv thk of many things...
i hope tat dis blog is just a transparent blog.....
i dun expect will hv ppl 2 view my blog.... esp them..... as i say in the last sentence of my previous blog. or i cn say tat each of these is just one of my small secret in my life... hehe....
everyone hv hope, neither do i..... my hope is just simple..... tat is: 找到真正的知己, 找到真正爱我的人和我爱的人... seem tat i'm satisfy easily, bt these hope will nt come true easily..... i reali duno these hope will reali come true or nt....
duno y.... 2day hv so much feeling..... mayb i'm reali a person tat thk 2 many......

the feeling again......

2009-06-01T12:18:00.003+08:00

i thk tat i reali is just an 'other' ppl in them..... i cn say tat i hv vy less contact wif them..... they never wait 4 me n chat wif me automatically..... n whenever they go, is just three of them, i just cn walk after them......
esp r. i cn feel tat she nt so lk me..... when v play the true or dare, i said i wana sit wif them, she said no place n vy straightness.... act she cn ask the ppl beside 2 shift a bit.... y dun she do it? n i cn feel tat she always lk 2 oppose my proposition.... mayb i'm sensitive.
when i face problem, exp, i hv dirty my uniform. they just ask me 2 wash+wash n wash.....they never say help me 2 keep my luggage. they just sit there playing when i'm busy ironing n keeping my luggage...... wat a fren they r...... y has tel me b4, i'm her best fren, bt i wana ask bak her, really?
when v r in a tol bak 2 ipoh, y ask me 2 wait her in the toilet, bt after i hv wait her, she went out n join bak them..... then i just b thrown 2 the bak...... mayb i just cn say tat, i'm nt the gang of them.....yes, i thk it's reali!!!!
in the bus, they chat without me, i'm sure tat they saw me sitting there nothing 2 do.... bt they stil chat without me.... i tried 2 ask them anything topic cn include me, they say the topic i cn dun listen 2.... how disappoint i was..... i'm just important when i'm needed!!!
when palying the true or dare, i thinking tat if they ask me hv i ever hate them or dun lk them b4, i dare n sure will say yes. n if they ask me y, i won tel them bt ask them 2 view my blog.
bt til nw, i'm nt willing 2 let any on them view my blog coz i dun hope tat dis a little bit friendship wil break by dis blog!

2nd day in kl

2009-06-01T11:41:00.006+08:00

awoken at 5 smt....... ooo..... it was 2 early..... nt i cnt sleep bak although i was stil felt vy sleepy....

took breakfast.... again.... spicy chao que diao..... how 2 bear? n i threw it...... hungry!!!!!!

9 am- competition start...... 4 sure, v gv great support n claps 2 our team..... in our heart, they r champion!!!!

after comp, there reach lunch time.... the 2nd unlucky day!!!!! I HV DIRTY MY UNIFORM!!!!! in front of snrs..... esp her..... omg!!!!! bt i act calm in front of her..... haiz......
n i'm vy nervous coz i just hv less than an hour 2 wash+dry+ tidy up my luggage...... no 1 help me, ecp jl. i'm reali felt vy grateful 2 her..... she reali helped me a lot when i need help!!!!
finally, i just cn wore the half dry uniform...... how fluster i m......

closing ceremony........ a boring speech..... n there reach the giving prize moment....... our na team gt the overall champion..... how hapi v were.... esp the comp team.... all hv cried...... n hv the opportunity 2 s'pore 2 take part the international comp!!!!

7.30pm.... our bus start bak 2 ipoh..... v hv fun+ sleep in the bus..... how hapi v r!!!!
11.30pm... i finali bak home!!!!!

1st day 2 kl

2009-06-01T10:40:00.004+08:00

woke up at 2am......just slept 3 hours only...... so sleepy.......
when reach skol, stil nid 2 wait 4 almost 1 hour.... hungry+ sleepy.... reali cnt bear on it...
in bus, v sit at the last seat of the bus, stupid engine..... noisy + vibrate with none stop!!!! bt i had a good sleep there.... thx god!

in kl, v 1st went 2 the place tat v had 2 sleep there.... in xx latihan polis diraja... n tat's where the place those comp team had their competition there... it was better than i thought b4... at least had a bed n pillow 4 us... (however the bed was a bit dirty)... bt the toilet n the bath room.... haiz.... cnt lock+ water flows 2 everywhere.... reali omg!!!

next was briefing time..... wat a stupid badminton court n speech... extremely hot+ bored....
lunch time...... an extremely 'excited' lunch!!!! the chicken was extremely spicy!!!!!! reali cnt bear on, finali, i gave 2 jy.

i had never thk of i wil so unlucky.... i fell down into a drain.... n the drain was quit deep.... by leg swear..... how pain m i..... no 1 cn imagine... no any medicine n let me apply on.... i just cn use my hand 2 massage it...... pity man......

uniform checking+ marching comp time..... act was quit boring, bt when til our skol, everyone of us din felt bored anymore!!! n v gave a big claps 4 them......

at nite, ice breaking held in the same place- badminton court!!!!! hot+ boring!!!!!!!!!!! finali, v bak 2 our hostel n play true or dare........ when the bottle point on me, the ques tat asked me, i had ady expected..... so nothing special..... just 2 ppl play dare...... reali nothing special....

sleeping time..... vy hot until cnt sleep..... the room was dark..... y n l went 2 my bed n v chat secret... later, jl join us.... n v had chat a lot. n tat make me worried...... NEXT YEAR!!!!! omg.......

preparing 4 kl 'trip'

2009-05-28T18:50:00.004+08:00

dis sat go 4 kl......
omg..... 2 smt hv 2 wake up!!!! never wake up so early b4.......
i reali cnt imagine hw i'm going 2 c my st.john buddies tat day....
mayb c them using my 'panda' eyes....
2 things i hate the most when going 4 a trip or camp.... 1 of tat is, prepare luggage...... ooo.... headache.....
i reali feel vy sorry NW! i heard tat nid 2 wake up SO early, is nearly 5 am.... omg!!!!! i'm going 2 faint when i heard dis...
at the beginning, i resolved 2 go 2 kl is bcoz of i wana go 4 shopping.... bt..... bcoz of him, v cnt go....
n hw i'm reali feel jealous 2 cw tat she dun wan 2 go.......
if i dun go, i cn sleep hw late i wan n cn go 4 my lovely bmt training.... n even watch i lovely husband bmt tournament!!!!! if cn let me choose again, i will surely will say- NO!!!
bt al is 2 late...... haiz.......

dissapoint n sad...

2009-05-25T21:38:00.003+08:00

2day is photo taking section... it took a long time 2 arrange the height... 5 of us hope tat cn take photo 2geter....v cnt even take photo 2geter bcoz of our height r different.

finally, three of them 2geter bt me n zr separate.... bt dis is nt wat i'm angry abt.....after they hv taken the photos, they just went off n nt thking of wait me 4 ahile..... they even turn their head bak n i cn sure tat they saw me..... bt it reali seem tat i was transparent at tat moment...

i'm nt hapi abt tat i'm just lk a paper in 5 of us..... when i was needed, i cn be vy useful..... i cn b written, make different shape or thing 2 make them hapi..... bt when they dun need me, i'm just lk a rubbish b thrown into a dusbin...

dis was nt the 1st time i felt it..... it happen many times...... n they dun even realize tat i care abt it..... i'm just lk a transparent object in their eyes....

say i cnt don go kl, then com wil duno put who 2 same room wif them... act is just 4 herself... i'm nt important.... i noe...

2day i'm reali vy unhapi til i dun even wan 2 answer them when they call me.... i just look at them 4 awhile n tried 2 escape from them.....

i'm reali cnt bear on it..... i just cn write out wat my feeling on the net..... dis is the only way 4 me 2 relief myself...

selected!!!!!!!

2009-05-24T18:04:00.000+08:00

i was vy surprise when i read the sms sent by zr........i hv been selected 4 the flag comp......

how hapi i was at tat moment!!!!!! i reali hope 2 share wif my fren......bt i was alone when i read my sms.....

ppl say gud thngs wil always happen 2 those who do it hardly....... nw, i believe.......i hv put all my 'strength' n time practising my flag...... at the beginning, i thk tat i reali felt tat was no hope...... bt nw, i thk on the time i spent on it is WORTH!!!!

i promised 2 myself........ i will do the best i cn...... i hope tat i won cumbrance my team!!!!!

flag selection....

2009-05-23T13:10:00.003+08:00

the time was going n my anxiety was growing.... ooo.... how nervous i was....... i thought when i was watching tv, my anxiety will go off... bt... it seem no use..... i was very nervous n scare....

the time went... things tat going 2 happen finally will happen oso... i did the personal test....
i did!!! i cn received al!!!!! ooo....how hapi i was at tat moment....

bt.... nt everything went smooth....

the next round.... i lost......

i hv misunderstanding her meaning..... n i did wrongly..... this round was involved my group.....

ooo..... i...... i cnt say how sorry i was.......

this was a selection.... i really hope tat i will b selected..... bt...... i think i cnt......